A wedding is like a theatre production and, sorry guys, for most of the show you are just the supporting cast, who just have to turn up on time and not bump into the furniture.
The bride is the star and she probably won't turn up on time but the hair, make-up, wardrobe and dramatic entrance are all hers. When it comes to the speeches part of the day though, the men may step forward for a brief cameo.
Like all good productions, the trick is all about timing. You don't want to wait until some guests may be ready to fall under or dance on the tables, or a case of going to early.It’s usually up to the bride and groom to decide when the speeches will be made but input may be asked for. The Best Man or Master of Ceremonies, should have a list of who is speaking, and in what order.This will help control some of those nerves, we all know how hard public speaking is.If you are having a casual reception, with just drinks and nibbles, let everyone arrive, meet the wedding party and get a drink then have the speeches soon after. This gives a focus to the occasion and, at the final toast, signals a time to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening.
At a more formal reception (sit down dinner) there are a number of options. Again, you can welcome the guests and get the speeches out of the way early, but that usually won't produce the best 'theatre'.It is better to let people relax and mingle a bit. Also, an audience that has been fed and watered can be more receptive, especially if there are more than a couple of speeches to be made.
The other option is during the meal. You may like to spread the speeches over the course of the evening - have the welcome before entree, a speech between entree and main course, a speech or two between main course and dessert and close the evening with a final speech, toast and the cutting of the cake. If you would like all the speeches together, after the main course is probably the most suitable time (let catering know your plans so they can also time accordingly).
One last tip, a toast may end a speech but it is not a speech in itself (although for those of very few words it can take the place of a speech). It should only be a few pertinent sentences. If it is your job to propose a toast, take your time, look at the person/people you are toasting and speak directly to them, not the guests (until you ask them to join you in the toast). Following the toast (e.g. "To the bride and groom...") it is customary to raise your glass and take a sip.
Traditionally there are three main speeches; the best man, the groom, and the father of the bride. In more modern times, it is common to have a few extra speeches. The best man is the main speech, and the more laughs you can get without being tacky, will make for a good speech. The groom is more often than not joined by his new wife, the bride. The father of the bride then welcomes his new son-in-law and talks glowing of his daugher. The father/mother of the groom then give their reply to the brides parent's speech. The MC will then ask anyone in the room for their brief comments on the couple.
BEST MAN SPEACH
Firstly, brevity is good but substance is expected - aim at 850 to 1000 words - that's around five to seven minutes. This may seem like a lot but it won't be as daunting when you break it down into components:
Introduction - welcome guests, thank the Groom for his toast to the delightful bridesmaid(s), maybe a comment on the wedding
Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the Groom - how long you have known him, why you are friends etc, leads into:
One anecdotal story about you and the Groom. It should be self-explanatory so the in-law guests are also entertained. There should be good-natured digs at the Groom but they should be affectionate and balanced by some kinder words.
Compliment the Bride and perhaps why they are so suited.
Read out emails (real and/or invented).
Let the guests know what will be happening next (e.g. dessert, dancing, couple departing for the honeymoon.
The ending - whether serious or humorous, this should be heart-felt and memorable. Propose a toast.
GROOMS/ SPEECH
(Modern weddings, the wife may also want to have her say – get used to it guys)
In a nutshell, here's what the Groom's speech has to do (normally on behalf of the Bride):
Respond to the toast made by the Father-of-the-Bride and thank him for giving you his daughter’s hand in marriage.
Thank both parents for their welcome into their family (and for providing the wedding if that is the situation) and for giving their daughter so many characteristics you admire, respect and love in her. Assure them that you will not let them down in your charge to love and care for their daughter.
At this point your own parents need a mention as well (perhaps for giving you the sense to see the characteristics mentioned above). Your mother probably needs more TLC than your father.
Talk about how happy you are thanks to your wonderful partner. If the terms "Bridezilla" has been mentioned by anyone at any time in the past 24 hours, you should probably make this section of the speech really sucky.
Thank the guests for coming, and for their wishes and the George Forman Grills.
Thank the Best Man, Usher(s), Minister or Celebrant and anyone who played a part in setting up the wedding.
Propose your own toast to the health and happiness of the bridesmaid(s).
FATHER OF THE BRIDE
Welcome the Groom's parents, other relations, and friends of the family.
Thank people who have assisted in organising the wedding/reception
Compliment the Bride on her appearance
Speak of the Bride's achievements and family life
Congratulate the Groom and welcome him into your family
