Wedding Etiquette
Q. When should an engagement announcement appear in the paper?
A. As a general rule, engagements should be published no more than a year and not less than six weeks before your wedding.
Q. Which side of the Church/Venue should wedding guests be seated?
A. Traditionally the bridge’s family and friends are seated on the left side of the church facing the altar. The groom’s family and friends will sit on the right side of the church. If the church has two centre aisles, the bride’s side sits on both sides of the left aisle, the groom’s on both sides of the right. The parents sit in the centre section; the bride’s on the left and the groom’s on the right.
Q. Which order should the bride and grooms parents be seated?
A. The head usher will escort the groom’s mother to her seat. The groom’s father follows a few feet behind the usher, and then takes a seat beside his wife. It lends a nice touch to the wedding for a son to escort his mother down the aisle at his brothers wedding, whether or not he is the head usher. For a more intimate touch, the groom may escort the bridge and groom’s parents to their seats.
Q. Which order should the bridal party walk down the aisle?
A. The wedding party enters, bridesmaids first, the maid of honour follows, then the flower girl and ring bearer behind her. As everyone takes their places at the front of the church, the organist will change to the music for the bride and her father’s entrance.
Q. Walking down the ailse, which side of the bride does the father stand?
A. The bride will take her father’s left arm as she walks down the aisle. Her father will then be on your right when your groom joins you from the right at the alter.
Q. What should the seating arrangements be at the bridal table?
A. Traditionally, the Bride and Bridal attendants are placed to the left of the table and the venue, while the Groom and his Groomsmen are on the right. A modern alternative is to alternate males and females.
Q. Our wedding reception will be a large, sit-down dinner. What is the best way to direct guests to their places?
A. Use place cards on the table. Then display a seating chart (also beautifully lettered) where your guests can see it, so they won’t have to go from table to table searching for their places.
Q. We are having a small wedding reception, do we need seating arrangements?
A. Not really, but place cards would still be an option.
Q. Do the bride and groom dance with each other before or after the parents?
A. Traditionally, the bride and groom will be along on the dance floor for the first dance song. Sometimes the bride’s father will cut in and dance with his daughter half way through the song. It used to be a tradition that the father chose the song to dance with his daughter with, but modern times, the bride and groom will generally have picked all the music. The dance will be the groom with his mother, then the newlyweds with their new in-laws. This is then followed by the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and then the guests join in.
Q. Can we ask for money instead of wedding gifts?
A. You certainly can, in fact the current tradition for most couples is now the have a wishing well, rather than a gift registry. The average age for weddings is getting older, so most couples have already lived together and have most of the traditional gifts already.
Q. If people bring gifts to our reception, do we have to open them there?
A. No, you don’t need to open them in front of the guests. It is very common to take them home and not actually open them until you return from your honeymoon. Another reason why the wishing wells are popular, you don’t need to make that decision about opening presents.
Q. Should I buy my fiancée a wedding gift?
A. While there is no rule that says couples should exchange gifts, many do. A popular choice is jewelry, something that can be treasured for many years.
